Several times over the past several months I’ve had this recurring dream ….
I’m an actor—and have agreed to play a particular role in a theatrical play. But on opening night, for one of a variety of reasons, I’m unable to fulfill this commitment.
In some iterations of the dream, I’ve learned my lines, but then—in a moment of stage-fright—forget them. In other iterations, I simply haven’t practiced the lines at all, so am in no shape to successfully render the character. Sometimes I’ve learned the lines but then just change my mind—backstage at the last minute—about wanting to participate. I feel bored and utterly disinterested in performing, so just leave.
In all cases I feel kind of bad, as though I’ve let down the other actors, not following through on something I promised to do. Often there’s at least a tinge—and sometimes quite a lot—of anxiety. Sometimes just embarrassment, like I’ve well and truly dropped the ball. While choosing not to participate in the play feels freeing, there’s also a sense in which I really ought be playing some role or another, to be more actively involved.
And then I wake up, aware that I’ve once again had this recurring dream, of not quite making it onto the stage for the actual performance.
In the midst of some medical complexity, I’ve found myself greatly valuing some lifestyle choices rooted in simplicity. For instance:
* Intermittent Fasting—having all food intake happen within a six or seven-hour window, say from 11am-5pm. This provides the body ample time to complete the digestive process and go deeply into its rest, repair, and restoration functions—particularly at night.
* Cold Showers—after the luxury of a warm shower or bath, ending with a brief (30-60-second) cold shower. Nice exercise for the skin cells, and support for the immune system.
* Contentment—is this not the true meaning of Brahmacharya? Noticing any tendency to expect the grass to be greener on the other side …. And coming back to the sweetness of here-and-now, Sat-Cit-Ananda.
And then, also, every now and again—something moves the body and/or mind in one direction or another …. in spontaneous celebration.
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